Did you know…

that I’ve just published a book?

SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW THAT I keep active in-between clients with various artistic pursuits.  It’s quite time-consuming being multi-talented, but at least I’m never bored!

(Or boring.  As the exasperated, self-styled “Sensei” of my shiatsu college once said to me, “No, David.  I wouldn’t worry.  Bored is not an experience I tend to have with you…”  OK, I was kind of a shit-disturber at that institution, KoKoRo Dojo, that my colleagues had dubbed “the Shiatsu concentration camp.”  But that story is for another day, as we gather by the fireside…)

I’m here to tell you about my lifelong pursuit of writing.  More specifically, my recently self-published book of humorous observations on life (mine), political satire, tips for becoming a rapacious image stealer, and extolling the benefits of taking a foam bath with your acolyte, “A Slow, Painful Death Would Be Too Good For You (and Other Observations): A Pillow Book For Dyspeptics“. 

What’s “dyspeptic”?  I’m so glad you asked!  Dyspepsia is kind of an archaic medical term, dating from the times when you’d buy things like “Uncle Bart’s Magic Hair Restorer and Axle Lubricator”, for indigestion.  If you’re a dyspeptic, it’s possible you tend to reach for the Pepto-Bismol after Thanksgiving dinner, but it has another, more existential meaning.

“Dyspeptic” is just a fancy word for a cranky old guy like myself.  Think Fred Mertz on I Love Lucy, but with more intellectual cred.  Or Dorothy Parker.  Parker is one of my literary icons in terms of sarcastic bitch-stylings and I have read “The Portable Dorothy Parker” so many times I have to comb through my work to make sure I haven’t lifted any of her catchphrases or tropes and transplanted them verbatim to my own writing, so heavily has she influenced me.

The book’s content was drawn largely from the blog of the same name I’ve maintained for the past 5 years, but this is no lazy lifting and repurposing.  Everything has been expanded, rewritten and polished until it shines.  Think of my blog as a quick draft; what’s in the book is effectively brand new.

For more information on how to purchase the e-book, paperback or hardcover version of my book, and to download a free sample, follow ⇒ this link.

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.


NEW FEES: Don’t be alarmed! Fees are going up to $120, but there’s two ways to avoid the increase.

Find out more


spring is around the corner…

Photo by Jeffrey Hamilton on Unsplash

I was setting up the treatment space, tidying, putting things in order, when I heard the ping on my phone.

My client had cancelled.

He’d been feeling under the weather, his way of saying that the February doldrums were upon him and had triggered a bout of depression, which he couldn’t seem to shake.

Of course, this was no problem, he’d given me lots of notice (in my world, two hours is plenty, especially with a long-term customer.)

And it’s been a little quiet around here. I started to wonder how many of you are, maybe not clinically depressed, but weighed down by the snow, slush and gloom. I certainly find that I’ve been avoiding going out as much as possible, and when I do have to make a run to the corner store, I scurry there and back as quickly as possible. Is that like you, too?

So much of life is the attitude we bring, cliché as that sounds. One new client hadn’t managed to book an appointment yet, though he was enquiring frequently. It seemed as though he was always completely booked up at his job, unable to squeeze in time for an appointment.

Sometimes a little tough love is called for. “You know,” I texted, “It’s always possible to find time for self-care.”

Within an hour he’d got back to me and booked a morning time. A perfect way to get to work revitalized.

Who’s going to make the time for you, if you don’t? How would they cope for an hour at work if you were stuck in traffic? How would they cope for a month if you needed time off because of stress and exhaustion? I know you’re a treasure, but—you may be a little less indispensable than you think. What do you think?

You know that feeling when you’ve had a great night’s sleep and you sail through the day? Or when you return from a holiday ready to take on the world? It doesn’t take much to change your perspective.

Ten reasons to enjoy February:

  1. Celebrating Family Day with your loved ones.
  2. Valentine’s Day with your SO
  3. Wiarton Willy makes his prediction
  4. The days get noticeably longer
  5. Just enough snowy days to feel Canadian
  6. Blood oranges
  7. Shortest winter month
  8. Comet /2018 Y1 (Iwamoto) is at perihelion and visible until dawn today
  9. Lunar New Year
  10. Public skating at Evergreen Brick Works

There! No excuses. And hope to see you soon!

A Truly New Year…

A serene, revamped space

My new treatment space has been in action for a few weeks, now. It’s decorated in soothing blues and greens, with big plants adding liveliness, my original art to inspire and with music adding an extra healing vibe.

I am gratified to be receiving overwhelmingly positive feedback from clients.


John P. is long-term client who had always valued sessions to ease away the stress of high-demand work, including frequent trans-Atlantic travel. He returned a few months ago after quite a long hiatus during which I thought he’d disappeared, and began booking my three-session package.

There is always a certain amount of attrition in clientele, of course, but when he spoke to me after a recent session, I found out the real reason why he hadn’t come to see me for a while.

JOHN: “I’m so glad that I booked the package of sessions. I have a terrifically busy schedule, so it’s easy to get caught up and think, I don’t have time. Of course, once you think that way then you start to believe it.

Often I’d start the day with the intention to set up a time, but by the time I’d hit noon and was fielding work demands, I’d literally forget until I was home that evening.

I’ve found booking the packages to be really helpful with that. You have some sessions “in the bank,” in a way, and knowing that encourages me to pick up the phone and text to set the next date. Just knowing I’m pre-paid—which means I’m able to book in advance, as far ahead as I need, really— is already less stress in my life. 

The appointment in my calendar to see David reminds me that it’s not true that I don’t have time—and I respect that appointment the same way I respect an appointment with a colleague. And no question that I feel better for it.

It’s really made all the difference.

» Find out more details and about how to purchase by clicking or tapping this link.

Happy New Year! / Bonne année et bonne santé !
2 0 1 9 C. E.

My new space is what you’ve been wanting…

… I admit it, working around the situation of having a roommate in my home was a four-year challenge.  Most of you took it in your stride when you saw my alternative set-up and found that, although the ambience is important, what’s most important is the skill I bring to the work.

Some of you, though, couldn’t get beyond the set-up and took a pass.  That was difficult.  I know that some guys are arriving at my premises already a bit anxious about what might be their first time with male touch, and that anxiety with the non-standard set-up was just too much.  I get it, though it was frustrating at the time.  “You won’t even give me a chance?” I thought.

Now is the time for me to offer those of you who took a little leap of faith, but a leap nonetheless, a reward for that leap — and to offer those of you who weren’t able to honor the appointment some amends in the form of a more traditional looking set-up.

From today, Friday, 26 October, until midnight, Wednesday, 31st October, all clients, current or new, can enjoy a session with me in my new, enhanced, private dedicated treatment room.

And have 40% off the regular cost: pay $60 instead of $100.  I know that discount almost seems like overkill, but that’s how much I’d like you to experience the new, revitalized bodyworktoronto.

Some things haven’t changed, however.  I still don’t use a massage table and never have – my training was in shiatsu, a traditional form of touch which is given and received using a futon on the floor, with therapist and client on the same level.  The techniques I use build on that idea, in both a spiritual and physical way.  It is profoundly connected and comforting.

To book your appointment for this special “thank-you” week, text me now at 647 767 0752

What else:  November 1st is the beginning of Hot Stone Massage!  More info on that to come, but just know that if Toronto’s damp, chilly winters are hell for you, hot stones will make you very happy indeed.  Prepare to get your rocks on!

Oh yes – my phone number!  Gradually transitioning to the one above, but the other will still reach me.

Be well


BIG changes are coming

Change is often painful.  These changes, however, will, I hope make appointments easier for both of us, allow me to offer more sessions more efficiently and offer them in a beautiful environment.  Read on:

  1.  Dedicated treatment space again.

    Many of you have read about the ups and downs of my situation here.  I won’t go into them again, except to tell you that  I’ve now been in my space SOLO for close to two months and I’m in the process of re-creating the quiet sanctuary which I once had.

    This of course includes the dedicated, separate treatment space.  Which I’m now fixing up and painting.  It needs a LOT of TLC after the things it has witnessed over the past four or five years.  Can a room get PTSD?  I’ll post some pics as the situation proceeds.  However I am still able to use the room in the meantime.  It just looks a bit like a teddy bear with one button eye missing.

  2. Online bookings and firm lead times.

    I will be changing my site to the Wix platform, which means I’ll have many more options for useful apps, including:  Online bookings!

    Just think:  You’ll be able to log in, see what times I have available and book.  Easy and simple.

    With this will come a change to my polices:  All appointments will require 24 hours’ notice – you won’t be able to book with less lead time than a day.

    I will make exceptions for this for clients who purchase my packages, who will have the option to book on the same day within four hours.

  3. All  “A la carte” clients will book and pay a deposit online.  Options will be available for those who for privacy reasons do not wish to use their credit card.

    Look for these changes within the next two to three weeks.

Look forward to seeing you soon.






My renewed session space is what you’ve longed for.

During the past crazy four to five years I’ve had roommates of varying degrees of terrible to unbelievably terrible.  That all finished on the first day of September, as the last sorry specimen removed itself from my premises and something inside me heaved a sigh of relief, and maybe even a sob.

This is by way of saying that there is now a separate dedicated session space that is your haven of peace, serenity, safety and privacy.

I’ll post some pics when the last orchid is planted in the last macramé hanger, but until then, know that the days of making do are over, and the future is all relaxation, all the time.

Book a session on the same day:

TEXT to 437 371 0584 (text, do not call).

Book a session 24 hours to 30 days in advance:  (usually requires minimum 50% deposit):

TEXT to 437 371 0584 (text, do not call)
e-mail: david@bodyworktoronto.ca


The number provided cannot accept phone calls or voicemail.  Please send a text message.

You may use email for same-day, but I may not see your message in time.  Text is recommended.

If you book ahead, I ask for a 50% deposit to reserve your time.

If you want an evening appointment on the same day:  Text BEFORE 5 PM.  Any messages sent after 5PM are reviewed the following morning.

Please note that my appointments can run up to 90 minutes, and therefore it may be at least 90 minutes before I can respond to you.  Please be patient.

New, “pukka” separate session space

Pukka, (adj.) (‘puck-uh); upper-class (Imperialist) Colonial British, from the days of the Raj:  in good condition, as it should be, proper.

OK guys, the moment you’ve anticipated has come to pass. My newly revamped (a.k.a. returned to previous serenity) session space is just about open for [your] business.

It’s been a few years coming.

My heartfelt thanks to those of you who gamely had your appointments while I had to set up for business in my normal living area.  You are the bomb.

And to those very few individuals who took one look and said, “no” and walked out without paying (including someone who deemed me, with thirty years’ experience under my belt, “not professional” because I don’t use a massage table), I can only blow what may sound like a kiss.

End of month special $90 sessions for all clients

Hey men, it’s end of month and once again I’ve twisted my own arm to offer an encouraging discount to both new and returning clients.

Until 9:30 pm today, August 1st (that’s the finish time, so the last appointment starting at 7:30) please enjoy a full appointment for a 10% discount:  $90 instead of $100.

This offer is only available for the time stated above, and is offered to both new and current clients.

Text me – rather than call –  at (437) 371-0584 ASAP – only two spaces left at this point.

Help me to help you!

Guys, guys, guys~!  You are the coyest, shyest people.

“Do you have an appointment available?”  Does not mean “Do you have an appointment at 10AM”…

I am a very talented individual, but mind-reading is not on my list of accomplishments.  Get the information out of your head and into the message.  This is strangely important, somehow…

Remember:  BE SPECIFIC if you need a particular time and don’t worry if it’s last minute.  Last minute very often works.

But it NEVER works if you need a specific time and no other and don’t tell me.

PLEASE:  Let me know if you need a specific time and don’t worry if it’s last minute.

OK?  OK!


Also remember:  I rarely check messages after 5 or 6 pm. I am happy to see you in the evening, but if you want an evening time, let me know before 5 to be safe, and before 6 if you’re feeling lucky.  Because, like you, I enjoy making plans of an evening, and got tired of using my movie tickets as bookmarks.

I resist the current culture of 24/7 availability.  I know this is considered weird these days, but I still remember answering machines that you had to access by coming home and playing a tape recording.  So it’s possible there’s no hope for me.

I’m happy to take your request during regular business hours, approximately 8am to 5 or 6pm.  Outside those times, it’s likely your request will be seen the next day. And don’t forget, if you know your plans and want a particular time, you can take advantage of booking in advance with a deposit, which guarantees your time.  How relaxing is that!

Remember relaxing?

Twist my arm, and I might even give you a discount for pre-booking.  I know, I know.  What a softie.

See you soon.

Happy Canada Day! + offer

CProclamation_Canadian_Confederationanada is 151 years old tomorrow, Sunday July 1st. We didn’t have our own flag until 1965, or ownership of our Constitution until 1982.

We’re still pretty young, a bit diffident, a bit unsure of ourselves.

Maybe this trade war will be our watershed moment. Bring it on, I say.  I’d be ashamed if Trudeau DIDN’T raise hackles on the Apprentice Prez.

Anyway.  Back to Canada Day, and if you think I’m going to be taking a day off to drink Labatt’s 50 and eat Beaver Tails, you’d be mistaken.

I was trying to come up with a suitable offer to encourage you on-the-fence guys to shoot me a text and try an appointment.

So here it is:

For tomorrow ONLY, Sunday July 1st, you can book a regular-priced appointment, OR you can book tomorrow plus a second appointment for $151.00.  That’s a $49 saving over two appointments booked à la carte.

Guidelines about this offer:

  • NEW and CURRENT clients can both take advantage of this offer.
  • You can pay cash, or via e-transfer, but NOT Paypal. For e-transfer, use my email david@bodyworktoronto.ca, and do remember to tell me the answer to the security question!
  • As long as you make your payment by 5 PM tomorrow, Sunday July 1st, you can opt to come at a later date for your first appointment if you’re all booked up for Canada Day.
  • Use the second appointment within two calendar months, give or take.  I’m not watching the clock waiting to pounce; on the other hand do your best to follow this timing as much as you can.

That’s it!  So come out and have a relaxing session that will set you up right for the work week.


I often get texts or emails asking me to “tell me a little more about the massage.”  I usually tell the sender to look at this site first, and determine if they still need more info once they’d done that.

Some people have been looking at this site literally for a couple of years before contacting me.

No description that I can give is as good as actually attending a session.  You really need to experience one. A session, if you are exploring new directions, will help you understand yourself better; don’t expect an earth-shattering experience, just a NEW one.

And don’t forget that we’ll chat at the start so you can let me know of any boundaries you might have, so I can treat you appropriately.  It’s quite acceptable to ask for straightforward, therapeutic massage, and I emphasize that I’m trained in bodywork – you will always leave knowing that you’ve had a professional massage, it’s my bottom line.

Make the appointment, dude!

TEXT:  437 371 0584 or email david@bodyworktoronto.ca (please do this as early in the day as you can).